Recently, I stumbled upon Stella Hudgens’ blog, and fell completely in love with her. I’ve never really known who she was, other than the sister of Vanessa Hudgens, but her blog is FILLED with all things style, beauty, travel, but most importantly (in my opinion) lifestyle tips. Obviously I’ve never met her, but from what I’ve read I feel like we have similar personalities and I totally agree with a lot of her philosophies.
Recently she wrote a post called “OH, Fomo” that really changed my ideas about the idea of “FOMO” or “Fear Of Missing Out.” Honestly, I used to think that this was a phrase that came out of my high school but apparently this phenomenon is worldwide. Fomo can come in many forms. There’s that feeling you have when you have to bail on plans because you’re sick, or get invited to something but you have to work. You know what’s going on, and that you can’t go, but it doesn’t make you feel any less sad? jealous? who knows. Then there’s the “I don’t want to do what I need to do because I know I’ll be missing out on something.” This I’ve experienced more in college, when there’s so much to do but also so much room to procrastinate. Lastly, and maybe the worst of all, there’s that fomo you feel when you see that something is going on, but you weren’t invited. The rise of this came along with social media, because it’s so easy to see who’s with who, when they’re together, and what they’re doing.
Anyway, we know what it is now – what do we do about it? The main point that Stella made in her blog post, is that fomo is essentially a selfish concept. We feel like we’re so entitled that we need to be invited to everythinggggg. Why? Yeah, it sucks to be left out but the truth is: not everything is about us. More often than not, being left out of something isn’t about us at all. Maybe there wasn’t enough room for you in the car, or your friends needed some alone time. Maybe they already knew you couldn’t make it, or just called someone else last-minute. Whatever the situation it, take one step back from the situation and try to understand.
However, I know this is way easier said than done. And I’m totally not saying that “fomo” isn’t a valid feeling, or that you should be okay with always being left out. I’m definitely not going to ever stop feeling this way sometimes and I’m not saying that you should either. I don’t exactly have a laid back attitude, and I certainly tend to over analyze situations. But, hopefully, you have great friends that include you whenever they can, but don’t feel obligated to. Do any of us really want to be the friend that gets invited just because your friends feel like they have to? I don’t think so. And do we really want our friends missing out on something just because they know we can’t? No again!
Sometimes you have to take a step back and think about how a situation is affecting you. If you couldn’t go anyway – why are you upset? Be happy that your friends are enjoying themselves. I’m sure they deserve it! And if you weren’t at work or away for the weekend would they have invited you? If the answer is yes, you have nothing to worry about. Would you have even have wanted to go anyway? If the answer is no, then again – what are you really so sad about? You’re not wasting your time on something that you didn’t want to do – and hopefully you’re getting some much-needed alone time. And sometimes we even have to analyze the social situation? If two of your friends that are best friends with each other are hanging out – did you really deserve to be invited? No, probably not. That wasn’t about you!
And if you’re on the other end of things – I personally don’t think you need to invite someone to something just because you feel bad. It’s not fair to either party. You’re giving someone the impression that you want them there when really you just feel bad. It’s nice to be inclusive not necessarily at the expense of your plans or someone else’s feelings.
So what’s my point here? After reading Stella’s post I decided that I need to be more self-aware in situations like these, and recognize when a social situation applies to me and I don’t need to be invited to every social gathering under the sun. I thought it was some intersting food for thought, especially with summer schedules almost upon us. I think it’s important as a generation that generally knows everyone’s whereabouts at all times, to learn how to not take things so personally and let go of our fears a little.
Comment below if you suffer from chronic fomo & how you feel about Stella’s take on things! I 10/10 recomment reading her post, and all the other amazing pieces on her blog. XO V